The Adventure Time scene we chose
was both of our favorites from the second episode we made. I believe that the
greatest strength of the scene was the comic relief we incorporated into it. There
were many different interacting characters bouncing off of one another and
making it extremely funny to those who are familiar with Adventure Time. Throughout
all of our script we tried to put in characters from different episodes, but
this scene particularly really did that well. When I read it over it still
makes me laugh, and I can really see in my head this being an episode and
flowing well.
I am very proud of this scene
because we put together a lot of interesting ideas and scrambled them to get
this. With the amount of time we had we created a lot of quality work. However
there are some issues with the scene. The formatting as well as punctuation really
needs improvement I noticed as I was rereading the scene for our classmates.
One of our classmates gave us the feedback that we needed a more descriptive
background on the characters. I do believe that Adventure Time can be hard to
follow unless you’ve seen all of the episodes, but I think the randomness in
the scene followed how the show usually goes pretty well.
If we were to rewrite the scene I
think we should add more description to each of the acts. Not necessarily
having a narrator talk about the characters, but have the picture that’s in our
head on the paper. As a writer we see what we’re trying to convey in the script,
but it is important to make it so that the reader can see the scene how we see
it exactly. Where the Cosmic Owl talked to Finn about math, there should be a
flashback to his first and only appearance in the show. This might help the
reader to piece together the scene better. Also there are certain screen shots
that I could see adding to the scene as a whole.
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